My mom and dad of course thought it should be framed and placed in my office and so did R, but me I was hesitant.  Yesterday I finally succumbed and went to Michaels to have it framed.  The framer suggested I come back today as they were having a 1/2 price sale and frankly what I selected black matting, topped by rich maroon matting, topped by gold  matting with a thick frame of maroon and gold was a bit pricey.  Not so pricey I couldn’t do it, if I wanted to, but 1/2 price or not  today the question became do I want to do it.

Since today was the day to have weighty talks with my mom about choices and my actions, you know seek her counsel, I finally blurted out I was concerned about the framing thing.  I explained my personal decision not to display such things as my law school diploma in a business driven by ivy league schools, one of which I attended, nor my various certificates of admission to federal and state courts.  I told my mom  I thought it was flashy and showoffish and would be even more so if I only had one up for the Supreme Court of the US. 

She listened and tried to convince me it was good idea and something my clients should see.  I told her that is what R said too at least three (3) months ago when the actual certificate was promised but had not arrived in the mail. 

“The thing is it makes me uncomfortable.” 

With that said my mom told me a truth that has guided me everyday of my life, “Then wait and see, there is no need to rush; be comfortable.”

So today I have cleaned a bit, shared secret tough thoughts with a really close friend at my mom’s urging, washed clothes and put the certificate back in its heavy cardboard mailing envelope.  Framing the certificate was put aside for another day . . . .

I feel so blessed to have a mom who listens and encourages me to just be me.  My relationship with her is different than hers with anyone else.  For that I am lucky and appreciative.

Sometimes in life we need to step past acclaim and embrace  being enough without constant  recognition.  Sure recognition may come but then  it can be silently accepted uplifting the moment in which it is received and then placed back in its heavy envelope for  safe keeping.

May Love enfold You as I Am enfolded by Love.

I worked today on some promo pics for my book

It has taught me to be careful–real careful–about filling in the gaps about what is going on in others’ lives.  I have come to realize the facts I ass-u-me are true are generally facts that fit with how I want to view the situation for one or all involved.  I cannot talk about the facts involved in my investigation but I can talk about how I have come to see the process works from other investigations, all of which arise from people interacting together in the workplace.

If I want to view myself as innocent I will ass-u-me facts that make me innocent not responsible for events that occurred even if I played a role in their occurring.  So If I flirt with someone I know is involved and the involvement ends, that has nothing to do with me and everything to do with them:  they were not right for each other or their relationship was on the rocks or???

If I want to hold one party more culpable than another I will ass-u-me facts that glorify one and minimize the other.  She wasn’t meeting his needs or vice versa.  He was too good for her or vice versa.  She didn’t see his/her potential but I do.  Notice how I can put  myself in the hero to the rescue role, the person with  the less culpable person’s interest at heart.

If I want to claim offense, I can take the words of another personally and not look at my own conduct that provoked the words.  I can ass-u-me  facts to show  why I am right.

I could go on and on.  But what this week showed me is that when people get caught up in being “right” and filling in the facts with assumptions about another’s motives generally reason goes out the window.  Being “right” in their own minds is not enough; they have to enlist supporters.  They have to convince others they are right.  They must be vindicated and others without question adopt the reasoning and assumptions on which that reasoning  is based without ever considering there is another side of the story. 

That’s what I do figure out the other side of the story  devoid of assumptions.  It is very serious business.  It helps me see how I only have control over me. 

But it also saddens me to realize the damage assumptions can do to one’s peace of mind and to the workplace as people divide into camps of us and them. 

It reminds me to treat others as I would like to be treated if I was acting as they are assumed to be acting.

Tiring week.  May Love enfold You.