You can listen to today’s radio broadcast by clicking the BlogTalkRadio icon on the left. It will play until next Sunday and will be available as an archived program after that. The outline follows. Please note it is not the broadcast and you probably should listen. This is an outline only:
So what about truth?
The truth is defined by philosophers as one of manyconcepts traversing from what actually objectively happened, to what people in power want to believe happened.
As a lawyer, I see its flexibility as people shaping facts to defend themselves based on some construct they have about what they think others want to hear. By that I am not saying they are lying, just remembering in the manner that best serves their sense of self and fits into the model they have re: what they should see,observe and know. It becomes their story and they stick to it. In the business setting “truth” becomes more absolute because of laws that regulate the room allowed for variance.
But in life away from business, in how we relate to each other outside the formalized relationships of employers and employees in our personal relationships we can choose peace over being right.
Life has taught me that although there may be one objective version of what transpired there is no single person who saw it that way unless of course that person is a dispassionate “Fair Witness” like in Strangerin a Strange Land who sees things like a camera and cannot tell a lie, but then even then didn’t a fair witness succumb to pressure and prestige?
In real life each person sees what they see based onall they have seen and experienced or at least the person recounts what they see in that way. Thus, what we see as “true”is influenced by what we believe it should be.
Moreover, we cling to that truth to the point of harming ourselves. People will challenge others: “Are you calling me a liar?” The appropriate answer is of course not, we are just comparing what we saw, what we remember, what happened. But because for most someone must be “right” those words “Are you calling me a liar?” don’t open conversation but close it as people rush to their corners fueled by righteousness ready to battle to the death—if not literally then spiritually to prove it is they who are telling the truth. Along the way they develop alliances and those alliances help shape whatis true . . . and the beat goes on as camps of us and them develop over things that really didn’t matter very much in the whole scheme of things.
Martine Batchelor, “Meditation For Life”said:
Honesty can be cultivated by transforming your inner language. For example, you might think: “I am no good” or “Theyare not good.” Is this true? For some strange reason, people want to wallow in the idea of being either the best or the worst. What is true in this moment? How close can we get to the reality of our experiences?
I guess for me the question of whether to don my boxing gloves turns on whether doing so is advancing a truth on something that will ultimately matter or if not, I choose to advance my peace my peace and stand silent.
What matters most to me is clinging to the joy in the moment not to things that are done to prove I am right and spoke the one truth. Have you noticed how many needless words are spoken? I have and sometimes they come from me. It’s so nice I get to start over—so do you. I am learning to just allow whatever happened to have happened accepting my role,whatever it was, which varies with the teller, and loving all of the participants because we are One with each other.
Yesterday I saw a movie trailer and this girl was talking about events that flowed from charges she made which she described as the innocent assumptions of a child about what she thought she was seeing which were wrong. I am working to make certain when I go to battle over truth it is because I want to save someone not gossip and not to have a pyhric victory over something to show I am right when being right matters little to me and much to another.
DonMiguel Ruiz in The Four Agreements
Be impeccable with Your word—Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of love.
Don’t take anythingpersonally—nothing others do is because of you. What they say and do is a projection of their own reality. When you immunize yourself from the opinions and actions of others, you eliminate the dis-ease of needless suffering you invite in because of their opinions.
Don’t make assumptions—ask questions, communicate clearly to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, drama—don’t engage.
Always do Your best—This is a flexible standard so do not hold yourself to perfection. Do your best and then do not self-judge your best.
MayLove Enfold You
Mara
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